Dating Sites! Yikes!

Well, after some weeks ago, reading a woman's magazine, I read about the website Sugardaddie.com. Having decided that what I read sounded like it needed some investigation. It promised a "better class' of Gentleman! So, off I trotted and googled! Well, seems there are LOTS and I mean LOTS of websites with similar names, and oh my goodness! Nothing quite prepared me for the wiggling naked backsides etc that were suddenly popping up in front of my eyes! Yuck! Not what I wanted at all! However, after retrieving the magazine article, I was actually able to find the REAL website. Brilliant I thought! Nothing ventured nothing gained and so I registered for free! Excellent I could see some of the photos, a huge choice of men and I could choose which age, which area etc!

I carefully loaded a photo of myself and spouted all that I could think relevant about myself! Only then to discover that I was bombarded with emails from supposed "Gentlemen" and was kindly added repeatedly to their "hotlists". However, I was completely unable to read the emails or contact anyone back, until I had coughed up a rather pricy fee in order to see what was being written to me. I felt frustrated and gave up! I was NOT going to pay for the service!.......or so I thought! After 2 days and an ever expanding inbox, curiosity got the better of me. I deemed it necessary to "part with the cash" and dutifully paid up for a 3 months membership as it was the best deal at the time!

Well do you remember as a child paying for a lucky dip, only to end up feeling disappointed and let down with what you had picked out? Well I had the same feeling here! Comments like "Hello Sexy" and "you wantta meet" were what I had just parted with all the cash for! They reminded me of the joke about the mating call of the clam... do you know that one?!

A few emails seemed okay initially, but after a few messages trying to get to know people, I quickly realised they were NOT interested in anything but the obvious ( I was so naive)! They did not care about my brains, my life or in fact, me!
So disappointed I had all but given up with the site! Realising that the money spent on it could have been used for much better things such as chocolate, wine, a night with the girls or a shopping trip ( I fantasise here, as any single Mum will tell you; money is scarce, and yet bills aren't!) However, I have always been curious by nature, and since I have paid for my membership, I do still keep checking my inbox on the site, just in the vague hope that out there somewhere is one good man, with good intentions, a heart of gold and ..........sorry, i'm dreaming again!
However, checking the inbox is something you kind of want to do a record speed, as putting you head up above the parapet by going onto the site, notifies the Sex Starved that you are online and you get inundated with IM requests! So its a scurry in, flick through the inbox and then dash out again, closing the door firmly as you leave! The site could really do with the ability to show you as offline, in the same way Facebook does!



Anyway, feeling despondent after this experience, I decided to try www.eharmony.co.uk. Blimey; had no idea it would take me 45 minutes to sign up! Yes, great, a free trial, but what a trial the application form is! Anyway, having told them everything from my music choice, what i wanted for dinner and when I last did the washing, I was pretty gutted to submit my application, only to be told that they would not have accepted my application after one of the first questions!!! It asked whether I was single, divorced, separated etc. I clicked on the separated,and apparently, because I clicked that they would not accept the application! Well, cheers EHarmony! Its not that I have a problem so much with the inability to join if the divorce has not gone through yet, its the fact that you have the audacity to waste my precious time whilst I think about my tastes, whether I am sensitive, whether I care about religion and carefully write my resume etc!

So my experiences to "date" (no pun intended) are not so good on dating sites! Sugar Daddie is great if you like swimming with sharks and e Harmony just a time wasting non starter if you are not actually totally divorced!

That all said however, Yesterday, from Sugar Daddie I did have a very sweet thoughtful message from a very nice sounding guy! He stood out from all the other sordid and sleazy messages. Hmmm, lets just wait and see, I haven't seen if he is on a white horse yet!  I shall keep you posted!

Okay! here I am, a middle aged Mum of 4 and SINGLE!

After near enough 18 years of what I thought was relatively happy marriage and 4 wonderful and beautiful kids (that I am incredibly proud of)  later. Here I am SINGLE! On the very wrong side of my 40's and really starting to feel it I fear!

Some days are good, some days I wallow in self pity, fear and hopelessness; it can't be helped, I seem to have very little control of my feelings, I am female after all!!

However, I am busting a gut to look my best, lose a little weight and not worry about my body too much. Though naturally, I do fear that any future relationships will come to a timely demise due to a "cob-web" covered and ageing body. Yes, I do mean cobwebs in the "err, down there" kind of way! That part of my anatomy has clearly forgotten that it ever had a purpose other than pushing out babies (which it last did nigh on 14 years ago) and the daily unpleasant necessities of "what goes in must come out" (sorry if I am painting a vile picture!) . Please do understand though, its not that I plan on going out to find men for those purposes, but finding myself relatively newly single, it has of course made me stop and think that I MUST find myself a new man at some point! But how? What do I say? How do I go about it? and what on earth is expected of me these days? It all seems so jolly complicated and a bit of an effort really. However, the thought of never getting hugs, never having a night in with a good DVD, a bottle of wine and a man to cuddle up to on the sofa, fills me with total horror!





Worse still what if I turn into one of those miserable, mean, tight lipped unpleasant old spinsters, who bites at everyone in her path! God forbid that I should end up completely alone!

I have some great female friends. The best, I would say. Three great brilliant, very close, caring wonderful female friends in particular. My life would simply be incomplete without them. I adore them (and thats something else a new man would have to get his head around and accept, I would expect him to love them too; but not in "that" way!) When I am with them, or we have just chatted on the phone, they make me feel just great. They are the greatest bunch of women ever, and for them, I feel truly blessed! However, there is still space in my life for dating, romance, and that heart skipping feeling that only a man can give!

So, here I am,  at the  start of a new journey. I have decided to document it here, and see just where it takes me to! I really hope to lots of adventures, that I can write about. I will share my agony and  ecstasy (if there is any, and of course in moderation!). If no one bothers to read it, thats fine too! I shall write just for myself! But if anyone wants to share my journey, you are welcome along for the ride!